The Web was Woven Curiously
by barspoon
Summary: (Shalott series #4) Kakashi-centric one-shot, Gen story. Two wrongs don't make a right, and two negatives don't make a positive. But two negatives don't not make a positive, and two poisons can cancel each other out to save a life. So, if a lifelong curse is slowly coming undone because of an acursed dysfunctional trio of brats...does that make it a blessing in disguise?


**[** I would just like to say that the manga never showed what happened between the bell test and the Wave Arc. The only time frame I can find is that the anime puts the bell test on October 15 and the canon date for the Chuunin Exam is July 1. That leaves a whole lot of blank time where readers can only speculate to how Kakashi truly was as a Jounin Sensei. This is my interpretation, and you don't have to agree with it. It's all good. =)

However, if you want to call me a big fat liar, please bring evidence to back up your claim with _**manga**_ chapters/pages. While I do sprinkle in some anime fillers and movies, I don't use all of them since they're...well, basically copyrighted fanfiction created by an animation studio. ;) The POV and backstory continues in the vein of this "Shalott" series, but I'm also trying very hard to stay as true to canon as possible so each one of these can be read independently. Thanks! =D

The title comes from the poem "Lady of Shalott" by Lord Alfred Tennyson, and in the context of this story 'curiously' could also carry the double meaning of 'strangely'. More notes at the end. **]**

**The Web was Woven Curiously**

Team 7 passed.

Half an hour later Kakashi returned to where Naruto was still tied to the training post, perched himself lazily on the post next to the irate Genin, and spent the next hour talking him through the Rope Escape Jutsu. When the blond wriggled free of the bindings and raced off with a shout of triumph, Kakashi slid off his post and picked up the ropes with weary consternation. The simple knots he'd used hadn't been undone, they'd been impossibly rearranged into a lopsided snarl that had given Naruto barely enough room to escape. He shrugged and stuffed the tangled mess into his backpack. Well, at least it had worked, and that was a start.

He wasn't surprised he couldn't sleep that night, and he didn't give a rat's ass what anyone thought of his creeping around the village to sit on the rooftops for no discernible reason. He was late for Team 7's meeting at the bridge that morning, and gave his delightfully angry little minions a lame excuse as he herded them to the Hokage Tower so they could get the necessary paperwork out of the way before they took their team photo. With the click of a button and a flash of light, he was officially committed. And if his hands trembled ever so slightly as he turned the bickering Naruto and Sasuke to face the camera, neither of them were paying enough attention to notice.

The next day was their grand beginning of boring D-Rank missions in between their scheduled training. Contrary to the popular belief of overeager and impatient Genin, D-Rank missions were not there to torture the newly minted shinobi like a secret hazing ritual. Nor were they a waste of time. During the course of the missions, they learned the entire layout of the village by default; a mental map was formed of the swiftest routes to get to and from all manner of scattered random locations. In an emergency situation, that map was an unbelievable help in being able to quickly mobilize the Genin for evacuating civilians.

It was the presence and prosperity of those civilians that fed, clothed, and housed the shinobi who protected the village and purchased all those civilian wares. It was a symbiotic relationship, and both sides needed to have a certain amount of trust and respect for the other in order for the whole thing to work. A kid who had never mucked out stables or planted a field of crops might sneer at the "weak low-class workers". So, when the Genin had to do the back-breaking work themselves for one measly day, they walked away from it with a different perspective.

They were making connections to Konoha one mission at a time, whether they were conscious of it or not. The civilian clients learned who the new shinobi were, the young Genin sometimes remembered the names and faces of the unfamiliar citizens, people talked and gossiped with friends and neighbors, and word spread around. It wasn't a flawless trust that was formed, but it was a trust nonetheless.

Unfortunately, Kakashi was Sensei to two of the least trusted Genin in the village, and he was constantly being pulled aside to tell the clients: "No, Naruto is not trying to sabotage anything, he's just clumsy...and kind of an idiot at times." "No, Sasuke does not harbor any killing intent for your dog, and I'm sorry the introduction didn't go very well, he's just antisocial...and kind of an asshole at times." "Yes, I am aware that Sakura is a young girl since it was clearly stated in the personnel file given to me by the Hokage-sama, and I am also aware of who her teammates are." "Now, if you'll excuse me, I'd like to get back to reading my book."

Mentioning his book tended to end the irritating conversations rather swiftly, and he was actually much more comfortable with having an offended and angry gaze directed at himself instead of at his students. Needless to say, they were not the most popular Genin team in the Konoha workforce, but they always got the job done. Sometimes they did it twice if Naruto was having an off day, but they never left anything unfinished or uncleaned or unrepaired. The villagers got to see a side of Naruto and Sasuke they'd never seen before, the brats learned how to earn a paycheck, and Kakashi got to torture them every few days by calling it "training".

On their training days they had laps through the far hills in the morning, where he would occasionally toss a genjutsu at them to keep them on their toes, and in the afternoon they worked on sparring and techniques. He started off with the basic weapons for Naruto and Sakura, and let Sasuke play with the larger wind shuriken since he was already proficient in handling the standard weapons. He worked on their balance and coordination to improve their throwing aim while they were running, dodging, and making a ridiculous amount of noise when he wasn't even really trying to hit them.

It took a little while and a lot of cursing for Sasuke to build up enough arm strength to wield the heavier weapon with ease before Kakashi could start teaching him the Shadow Windmill Jutsu. Sasuke understood the basics of jutsu theory, though his book-knowledge wasn't as advanced as Sakura. He could mold chakra well enough, but his control was only slightly better than Naruto's. The Shadow Windmill Jutsu was an easy way to teach him more control and focus his concentration on molding the chakra properly. He would need a good burst of chakra to perform the technique, but keeping the second shuriken hidden in the shadow of the first required a bit more chakra control than Sasuke was accustomed to.

With Sakura being the weakest and slowest of the three physically, he worked with her on sharpening her reflexes while teaching her holding and throwing moves that would give her an advantage against a larger and stronger opponent. He also worked to improve her Body Replacement Jutsu as another means of defense during a fight. It may have been a common technique, but during combat it took a lot of body control and environmental awareness to swap yourself out with another object without throwing off your own balance or being detected. The timing was critical, the illusion of being hit had to be real enough to convince the enemy and provide an opening for attack or escape.

Naruto was a decided challenge. His taijutsu was barely passable, and it was all elbows and knees like a street fighter. Kakashi found himself reluctant to alter the style since it suited Naruto's unpredictable way of moving so well. Instead, he worked on getting the Genin to contain his movements so he wasn't broadcasting his next move a mile away. He had the chakra reserves and stamina to pull off several techniques, but he didn't have the understanding of jutsu theory to be able to mold his chakra into the correct specific patterns that multiple hand sign sequences required. Nor did he have the control to be able to seamlessly weave the jutsu into existence, no matter how much he tried to force it to work like he had with the Shadow Clone Jutsu.

Then Kakashi recalled the time Naruto had used a henge to transform into Sasuke. It had been flawless in its appearance, and he had maintained it for an impressive amount of time considering his problems with concentration and chakra control. He asked Naruto to perform a henge, and suddenly Kakashi was faced with the buxom naked woman he'd heard rumors about. He gave Naruto an unimpressed look for the over-the-top cutesy seduction attempt that Kakashi had never liked even when it came from an actual woman, thanked his forethought for sending Sakura and Sasuke off to refill all their water bottles, and started rubbing his temples to stall the oncoming headache.

The woman vanished, and Naruto pinched his face into a scowl of perplexed suspicion. Kakashi rapped the short punk on the head for good measure, and told him to transform into something smaller than himself. Being able to condense his chakra so he could successfully transform into smaller objects would give him a wider range of use from the technique, and it had the added side-benefit of requiring better control over his chakra. A poor rendition of Konohamaru appeared, and Kakashi started the teaching...which loosely translated into telling Naruto to do it again and again because trying to explain the theory and application only confused the kid.

It was after a week of watching Naruto's less than healthy eating habits every day that Kakashi first brought a basket of vegetables to the blond's apartment. But he startled Naruto by appearing in the open window, and the plant the boy was watering fell off the shelf. One very colorful string of expletives later, Naruto accused the Jounin of the attempted murder of a houseplant, and demanded retribution in the payment of a new pot for Mr. Ukki and all the ramen he could eat.

Kakashi repaired the terra cotta pot with a simple earth style jutsu, told Naruto to be more aware of his surroundings, set the basket on the small kitchen table, said that was all the "ramen" he was getting, then escaped in a puff of smoke before the kid could raise hell for having rabbit food polluting his apartment. The following morning, after the usual scolding for being late, Naruto shoved Mr. Ukki into his hands and caustically informed the Jounin that if he was going to dump plants off at his apartment, then they should look like _that_.

Kakashi stayed up all night without thinking about the date or looking at the calendar. He was too busy staring at the weed that now inhabited his windowsill next to his team photos, and wondered when he was supposed to give it back. After a few days of getting used to its presence, he decided to keep quiet about it until Naruto said something. The next time he crouched on the blond's windowsill, he had added a bit of fruit with the vegetables in an attempt to ease the transition from instant ramen to nutritious food.

While Naruto remained stubbornly ungrateful, he also didn't demand Mr. Ukki's return. Kakashi was satisfied with the compromise, and on his next day off he lurked around the Yamanaka Flower Shop long enough to pick up a few pointers on how to keep a potted plant alive. Mr. Ukki had been a deceptively hardy guest thus far, but he didn't want to press his luck. The weeks rolled by and things were going well. So well, in fact, that he signed them up to be available for the Tora Mission.

The Daimyo's wife's cat was a notoriously dreaded mission amongst the Genin, and for good reason. Tora was the undisputed Demon Lord of lost pets. She was fast, cunning, mean, and carried a lot of battle experience under her little red bow. She was not easily caught, and there was always blood on her claws by the end of the day. All the Genin HATED Tora, and the feeling was very mutual. However, all of the Jounin Sensei loved Tora-chan. She was the ultimate field test for a Genin team, and they were only signed up for that particular mission when their Sensei was getting ready to put them on the availability list for out-of-village assignments.

What Kakashi was not expecting was for Team 7's first run with Tora to fall on the same day that he'd left his ANBU mask behind forever. Or for it to immediately lead to their first C-Rank mission. Or for his nagging feeling of foreboding to be proven right when he found out Tazuna lied about the enemies he was faced with, and hired _Genin_ for a B-Rank mission. Or for it to turn into an _**A-Rank **_mission against Momochi Zabuza, the Demon of the Mist.

Or for him to get himself caught in _a god damn water prison!_

He had taken the hit deliberately, letting himself get kicked into the water to draw Zabuza away from the others, but now he was CAUGHT! FUCKING CAUGHT AND _HELPLESS!_ All he could do was shout at his team with what little breath he had left while Zabuza was still just toying with them AND WHY WEREN'T THEY RUNNING AWAY?! He surged chakra into his limbs, burning through too much in a desperate attempt to break free, to get out and protect those fools who were STILL NOT RUNNING AWAY WHILE THEY HAD THE CHANCE!

He had promised to protect them, damn it! And he'd known he was just spouting lies when he'd had his clone say he wouldn't let his comrades die, that he'd never let _them_ die. But they'd been terrified out of their minds from all the killing intent, and he could _feel_ Sasuke breaking. He had to say _something_, but he hadn't meant it to be REAL! He hadn't meant it to sound so natural hearing the words in his own voice, settling on his shoulders with a hauntingly comfortable weight because he _wanted_ to carry it.

And now it was twisting in his chest in a way that _he wasn't supposed to feel again!_ It was never supposed to happen again! Cutting him to ribbons because those brainless little shitheads DIDN'T LISTEN TO HIM WHEN HE ORDERED THEM TO SURVIVE! He screamed inside his head when Zabuza's clone attacked Sasuke with the intent to kill, shoving more chakra into his limbs because _his kids were in danger!_ He could feel the water starting to ripple and give way, he just needed more time, more chakra, more time, more strength, MORE TIME!

He hadn't had them long enough! He needed more time! He was NOT going to let this happen! This would not be a day he would mark on his calendar! He got the kids on the day he'd joined ANBU, and it didn't mean anything! He got this mission on the day he'd left ANBU, and it didn't mean anything! HE WOULDN'T LET IT!

The world slowed down when Naruto's shadow clones piled on top of the water clone, and suddenly he was watching Sasuke pull out his wind shuriken. When Sasuke said "Wind Shuriken: Shadow Windmill", Kakashi could see with his sharingan that something was very wrong about the technique. Sasuke was molding his chakra properly, but his control was completely out of whack. The second shuriken was infused with...too much...chakra...

No. No! _**NO, PLEASE GOD NO!**_ WHAT THE HELL WAS NARUTO DOING?! There was no way he could take on Zabuza, it just _was not going to happen! Why were they using his lessons to get themselves killed?!_

Kakashi could feel his scalp tingling and his bones throbbing under the strain of using too much chakra to try to GET FREE, and his lungs burned as his vision went slightly unfocused. But he shook it off and told himself that he was NOT going to sit there and watch his students get slaughtered in front of him! The water started to yield more under his struggling, and he waited for the moment Naruto would transform so he could use the distraction to maybe GET OUT OF HIS GOD DAMNED PRISON! Zabuza was jumping in the air, it was the perfect opening for Naruto to strike and launch a surprise attack.

But the perfect opening went right on by, and Kakashi stared wide-eyed as Naruto didn't break his henge until he was safely out of the immediate range of Zabuza's sword. There was a shout, and a kunai came whizzing through the air with deadly accuracy. Zabuza jerked away with blood on his cheek, flying across the lake with the wind shuriken raised to cut through a defenseless kid - _**HIS**_ DEFENSELESS KID - and regardless of the fact that Kakashi was already dead on his feet, he was still _faster._ As the blade slammed against the metal plate on the back of his glove hard enough to make him bleed, he knew without a single doubt in his head that _the Demon of the Mist was going to __**DIE.**_

He let the adrenaline boil in his veins, clearing his head and soothing his panic as he gulped in air. He was still going to kill Zabuza, but he was going to have to be smart about it. Complimenting his horrible disobedient little minions seemed to bait the swordsman's temper, and Kakashi readied himself to dish out some egregious mind-fuckery. Using his sharingan to read and manipulate Zabuza drained his already low supply of chakra, but it was a price Kakashi was willing to pay.

He needed that man to be focused on him alone. There would be no more distractions. No more dancing around each other to test for weak spots. No more trying to avoid an all-out fight to the death. No more attempts to kill Tazuna quickly and escape. _No more targeting his Genin._ Kakashi let his killing intent seethe and snarl in an ice cold warning that if Zabuza so much as twitched an eyelash away from him, Kakashi wouldn't hesitate to gut him like a fish.

Half a second from slitting the bastard's throat, his quarry was stolen from him. To say Kakashi was pissed would be an understatement, but he muscled his internal temper tantrum down because Naruto _wasn't_, and politics were important too. Besides, with the way the pain was jolting from the back of his left eye all the way down his spine, he didn't think he had more than a few minutes of consciousness left. He miscalculated it and didn't manage to warn everyone before the darkness swallowed him.

When he dragged himself back to the land of the living, he was in an unfamiliar house with an unfamiliar woman frowning down at him in a way that made him feel uncomfortably like a naughty child. He tried not to form an immediate dislike for the stranger, because he was the guest there, and she had every right to be miffed about having to house an invalid for a week. It settled his nerves considerably as he blinked and caught sight of his team looking none the worse for wear. ...and Tazuna, who he really REALLY wanted to kick in the nuts for encouraging his students to fight and die.

But that would have to come later, because he just didn't have the energy to be that pissed off. So, he took a deep breath and consoled himself with the healthy and relatively uninjured scents of his three minions before the pain and weariness kicked him into the dark again. Snapping his eye open several hours later and scaring the pants off Naruto and Sakura as they tried to peek under his mask would have been hilarious if the nauseous sinking of dread at knowing Zabuza was still alive hadn't ruined the moment.

It was a little early to start them on tree climbing since he'd only just begun chasing them up into the trees for their laps back in Konoha. He had wanted another week or two of getting them comfortable sprinting through the canopy for long periods of time, where their bodies would instinctively begin to pinpoint focused chakra into their feet. Learning tree climbing would have been a lot easier if their bodies were already a step ahead of their minds. Unfortunately there wasn't time for that, and damn if it didn't feel like his bones were crumbling to dust just demonstrating the exercise.

Watching their first attempt was an interesting twist on his student's pre-conceived notions of internal team hierarchy. For once Sakura stood on top and blew the boys away, and Kakashi took a sadistic amount of delight in rubbing that fact in. And if Sakura's outburst in defense of her crush was a little more vicious than usual, then he simply took it as a bonus. Kakashi was still a bit at a loss when it came to Sakura, and for all her improvements in physical skill level and confidence, he couldn't seem to find a way to break her out of her shell.

She was stuck on the determined path of being a "perfect kunoichi". Which, to her young ideals, meant being graceful and demure, intelligent and _supportive_ in the sense that she was _supposed_ to always be in the back cheering on her teen idol. She wasn't _supposed_ to be challenging the boys in terms of strength. Boys were _supposed_ to be stronger than girls, and she was _supposed_ to be feminine and delicate, but firm in her stance of _defense_. She wasn't _supposed_ to attack first.

For an infiltration team, she would have been somewhat right in a convoluted way. For the front-line combat assault team she was on, she would end up getting constantly left behind by her teammates if she didn't learn to unleash and embrace that defiant tiger he knew was hiding in her. After a day of watching her exhaust herself without faltering in concentration, he knew she had hit her ceiling. Her chakra control was already quite advanced for a Genin, and it wasn't going to improve any more with the tree climbing exercise.

There was another lesson he wanted her to learn while they had the chance, and he sent her off with Tazuna, hoping the old man could teach her what Kakashi couldn't. She was still frightened. She was still a sheltered young girl. She still didn't know _why_ they were there when they could be safe in Konoha while someone else took the mission. She still didn't have a reason to protect Tazuna's bridge outside of mission orders and a sad story she couldn't relate to because she'd never seen or experienced the effects of true despair or oppression. She had a kind heart, but she hadn't yet learned how to use it properly.

This, of course, left the boys to focus solely on battling each other. While Naruto had always seen Sasuke as something of a rival, Kakashi knew it had only been childish jealousy up until that point since Sasuke had never seen Naruto as a threat to his perceived notion of being the strongest member of the team. However, Sakura had turned the tables on both the boys while all three of them were still wound up and rattling from their first encounter with an "unbeatable" opponent. Naruto and Sasuke dug their heels in and competed on semi-equal footing for the first time.

It didn't matter that Sasuke was ahead of Naruto, the Uchiha still wasn't _on top_ and Naruto scraped and clawed and pushed and fought his way into _catching up_. Sasuke was no longer out of reach, he was only a few steps ahead, and the more he struggled to stay ahead, the harder Naruto worked to break his own limits. They competed until even Sakura's endless patience with Sasuke started to wear thin, and she railed at both of them for barfing up their dinners.

They pushed each other until they both reached the canopy. Although Kakashi would have preferred it if Naruto hadn't tried to show off. Having a heart attack on top of his chakra exhaustion wasn't helping his stupid body heal any faster.

Kakashi would never admit it out loud, but Gai's ridiculous challenges tended to come in handy for improvising strength training exercises whenever he was in a tight spot. At least Tazuna and Sakura didn't ask how Kakashi had come up with the idea of having them sit on his back while he focused his chakra and did 200 one-finger push-ups. His hand didn't tremble much, he was almost back in shape. Naruto and Sasuke made it as far as the trees would allow. When Kakashi saw a very tired Sasuke _voluntarily helping his teammate back to the house_, he smiled and gave a bonelessly exhausted Naruto a pat on the back instead of scolding them both for being reckless when they would be facing an opponent soon.

He didn't know why he decided to talk to Inari after the yelling match. The kid wasn't his problem, wasn't his responsibility, wasn't...his. But the raw pain in Naruto's enraged eyes when he'd snapped at the boy was too reminiscent of a time before Naruto had been on his team. The blond hadn't just been pushing himself to beat Sasuke, he'd been doing it night and day to prove he was worthy of reaching for the title of "Hero". To prove he was strong enough to protect the angry little boy who could do nothing but lash out to hide his own sadness and fear. Kakashi didn't expect epiphanies or apologies, he just couldn't abide the misunderstandings and assumptions anymore.

The calendar haunted him the next morning, Tazuna's bridge was almost finished. They were so very close to completing the mission and making it home alive, but their enemies weren't going to simply let that happen. Despite the fact that Sasuke's practical application of all that hard-learned chakra control honed his senses and made him substantially faster, Haku used one-handed signs and techniques that Kakashi had never seen before. Everything Haku was doing went against all rules of normal jutsu theory, and unless Kakashi wanted to sacrifice Tazuna and Sakura, he was stuck keeping Zabuza at bay while the two kekkei genkai users clashed in a dome of mirrors.

...and only one of them had awakened his bloodline.

For some ungodly reason, Naruto's idiotic flashy arrival made Kakashi immediately want to hunt Jiraiya down and strangle the elusive Sage. The "Hero" boasting also put every last one of Naruto's manga on the top of Kakashi's list of things to burn when they got home. Seeing Naruto dart into the very trap Sasuke was caught in didn't help matters, either, but at least they were together. The pair were as incompatible as oil and water, but Kakashi knew they had all the potential in the world to blow their enemies back if they just worked together.

He had to count on that. He had to believe in that. He had to have confidence in them, because as gut-wrenching as it was hearing them scream in pain, the silence was a thousand times worse. Sounds and scents were muted by the chakra-laden fog, and only Zabuza had the key to unlock it. He couldn't play the swordsman's waiting game and he got in range to end the fight, but he was a step too late.

In an instant he was 14 years old, standing at the far edge of Konoha on October 10th and watching the moon turn red as blood through the fire and haze of the kyuubi's chakra. There was nothing remotely human about that chakra. It was ancient and immortal, indestructible and unstoppable, malicious and overwhelming. It had no enemies or allies, no weaknesses or conscience. It wasn't there to fight for a reason or cause, it was a soulless force of nature. It was there to eviscerate and devour without regard for anything in its path, clawing its way through flesh and crunching its teeth through bone until _everything_ around it was dead and destroyed.

It was just a whisper, just a drop of water in the ocean of power the Biju held, but it was enough to send a chill of dread down Kakashi's spine. Something had happened to weaken Naruto's seal! _Something had happened!_ He convinced himself that he still had time. The bridge hadn't been destroyed yet, his skin wasn't melting yet, the monster wasn't roaring yet. He still had time! The combination of summoning all eight of his ninken through a scroll that fed his own chakra into the underground tracking technique ate up a lot of energy, but it worked.

In a last ditch effort he tried to get Zabuza to surrender, to end both battles immediately. A thousand birds screeched in his ears, and suddenly he was covered in blood with his arm through a chest that was too small. He was horrifyingly startled, and all he could see was Rin as he stared into the wide brown eyes of a teenager while he felt fingernails dig into his arm in a literal death-grip. He wanted to throw up. Zabuza was laughing but Kakashi wasn't listening, cold fury winding its way through his gut at the serene smile on Haku's lifeless face...and at the hesitation that made a liar out of the Demon of the Mist.

Piece by piece everything fell apart around him, and he hated the irrational part of him that was grasping at straws and wanting to BELIEVE Haku had meant it when he'd said he didn't want to kill. He hated the pain that sliced through him because _**Sasuke was dead!**_ He hated the guilt curdling his stomach because he really had believed that Naruto and Sasuke would persevere and survive, damn it! He hated the sensible side of him even more, aching at the devastation on Naruto's and Sakura's faces because he was PROUD of them for standing so much stronger than they had during their Survival Test. He hated himself for being GLAD he still had them, that he hadn't lost EVERYONE yet.

And when he looked up at the enemy charging at him, leaving an opening as wide as a barn for him to drive his heel into the man's gut, _he hated Zabuza._ He hated the confusion in the swordsman's eyes because it made Kakashi want to _pity_ him. And he would NEVER pity Zabuza! Not while Sakura was sobbing and Naruto was clutching his chest like he wanted to rip his own heart out! _He was going to crush Zabuza one limb at a time, and dump the bloody pile of flesh and bones off the end of the bridge __**Sasuke had died on! That was Zabuza's fate! That was Kakashi's curse! That was how the world of shinobi worked!**_

So, why wasn't it happening the way it was supposed to? Why was Gatou there taking every chance he had of revenge away? Why was Zabuza making it so damn difficult to hold onto the rage when he sounded as numb and hollow as Kakashi felt? Why was Naruto snarling and shouting to defend the dignity of the corpse of his enemy? Why was Naruto thrashing and fighting and _hurting_ so much? Why couldn't Kakashi bring himself to stop the tearful _painful_ tirade?

This wasn't how it was supposed to end. He wasn't supposed to see so much of his pathetic self in the enemy. He wasn't supposed to feel the weight of it when the Demon of the Mist crumbled under the stubborn idealistic honest heart of a child that simply could not bring himself to _hate_. He wasn't supposed to feel so sad and thankful and worthless and envious when his not-enemy admitted defeat with a smile - admitted he was _human_ - before sprinting off into a terrible and glorious death.

He wasn't supposed to see Sasuke _standing up and __**alive**__._ He wasn't supposed to feel the relief wash over him like a tsunami, stealing his strength and making him thank his lucky stars that he was already kneeling on the ground. He wasn't supposed to be able to _play_ again, creating a swarm of harmless ordinary clones and bluffing the shit out of the band of mercenaries by saying "Shadow Clone Jutsu: Kakashi Style".

He wasn't supposed to feel honored at Zabuza's last request. He wasn't supposed to feel humbled and hopeful at the words of his students while they paid their respects in front of two graves. He wasn't supposed to feel happy enough to smile in carefree amusement as he watched Naruto pull the ugliest face he had ever seen to hide his tears when they said good-bye to the Land of Waves.

But he did, and as many mistakes as Kakashi had made, he couldn't bring himself to regret his decision to see the mission through by heeding Minato's words.

* * *

**END**

* * *

**[ **A guest reviewer noted that the previous story ended rather abruptly, and I do apologize for that. The funny thing is, I'm ending these stories in the same places that the manga closes an arc. XD

You'll notice I started this story right where I left off with the other one, and originally this was going to be part of "The Curse is Come Upon Me". But as I was writing it started feeling too long, and I was also straying too far from the title. I wanted to keep that story centered more on how Kakashi was trying to work through his "curse" alone (even though he wasn't alone), and the ending line could be taken as a double-meaning with the title; that yet another curse had come upon him in the form of three little monster Genin. ;)

And any of you that know me will probably roll your eyes when I say that THIS installment was also broken up because it was getting too long. I talk too much, I'm hopeless. This is a Law of Nature. I CAN'T HELP IT!

Okay, I've been using the original 1833 edition of "The Lady of Shalott", so anyone who's only familiar with the newer 1842 edition might not recognize the title of this story. Yes, people, the poem is THAT old. I'll have you know that the haiku I used in "Things Just Ain't the Same..." was even older.

Thanks for reading! And feel free to PM, review, or drop by my forum if you have questions. =D **]**


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